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ProTip: Pass on the Pronouns for Clearer Communication

Michelle Nitchie / Jun 4, 2015 10:00:00 AM

Pronouns_SmallBeware the deadly pronoun: he, she, they, especially the infamous they and the power-gilded we.  Pronouns can send you into a quagmire of misunderstanding.  Every single day, it seems, I say to someone, "Too many pronouns."  During a negotiation, force your counterpart to use specific nouns and proper names.  This preventive measure avoids a great deal of miscommunication.

- Michael C. Donaldson, Negotiation for Dummies


Mr. Donaldson's tip may be specifically about negotiation, but his point certainly applies to all areas of communication.  We rely heavily on pronouns in English, and they are a wonderful resource for simplifying our sentences and allowing us not to repeat the same nouns over and over and over.  But they can also get us into trouble.  

Sometimes, the trouble is more concrete: you or the person you are speaking with may be referring to different individuals entirely, and confusion ensues.  Other times, the difficulty doesn't manifest until later: people are confused as to who "owns" a particular situation because the discussion was focused on what "we" or "they," will do, not on exactly who will make it happen.  Because of this, no one takes charge and nothing gets done.

A quick way to break free from this situation is to avoid leaving a discussion or meeting where any decisions were made or tasks determined without putting actual full names to who is responsible for which task.  No more "before our meeting next week, we'll determine the items we need to propose to the client" or "I want them to figure out more cost-effective methods for this situation."   Name exactly who is included in the "we" and "them," and your communication and instructions will be a whole lot clearer. 

 

Topics: Business Skills, Communication, Leadership and Management, Negotiation

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