We have all experienced the frustration of ineffective communication. There are so many reasons why this happens, and I certainly could stand to challenge and improve my own communication skills. Limited vocabulary or the inability to convey what you are thinking plays into this. Think about a person in your life that you feel is a great communicator, what do they say or do that puts them in this category for you? Conversely, think of that person that is only interested in what they can get out of the conversation. Their self-serving intentions become manipulative and exhausting. Creating the form of communication called "win-win" you must take each other's goals into account and work towards mutual understanding. Everyone benefits in win-win communication.

"The most important thing in communications is hearing what isn't said." Peter Drucker

Effective communication enables us to make the most out of our relationships.  In order to maximize these skills, Rosalene Glickman who wrote, Optimal Thinking, gives us four questions to use to consider whether or not we employ optimal communication skills. They are the following:

1. Am I giving my undivided attention? By giving your complete and undivided attention, you show respect for the other person. 
2. Am I showing total interest in the other person? William James, psychologist observed, "The minute anything becomes personal with anyone, it becomes the most interesting thing in the world." Be sure to show genuine interest in other people's favorite subject: themselves.
3. Am I seeking mutual understanding? Mutual understanding requires complete openness of expression. The saying, "Don't judge others until you have walked a mile in their moccasins." No matter how painful the message, accept other people's right to communicate their reality. Be aware of the main purpose of your communication and look for common ground. Focus on what unites you and welcome ambiguity as an optimization signal. Discover what is most important to others and what motiviates them to do their best. Think and talk in terms of their best interests.
4. Am I inspiring optimal action/resolution? Encourage other people to make full use of their strengths and determine the optimal action steps necessary to obtain the best outcome. Be sure to ask the best questions and listen for the best answers. 

Understanding our own individual communication level is most important and giving thought to the four questions above will help you determine what you may need to work on. Understanding communication in the workforce is also important. Here are some interesting statistics put together by People Driven Performance, Cost of Poor Internal Communications: 

• "When employees understand their overall role in the business, 91 percent will work towards that success, but the number plummets to 23 percent if they don't." Bill Quirke
• Companies that have highly effective internal communications had 47% higher total returns to shareholders, over the last 5 years compared to companies with the least effective internal communications. Towers Watson
• $26,041 is the cumulative cost per worker per year due to productivity losses resulting from communication barriers. SMB Communications Study. 
• A business with 100 employees spends an average downtime of 17 hours a week clarifying communication. This translates to an annual cost of $528,443. Siemens

Challenge yourself and your coworkers to achieve better communication skills and start by recognizing and accepting those four questions above. The answers matter.