Many times during training and competition, an athlete will experience what I call "don't" thinking.  In "don't" thinking, people tell themselves what not to do.  For example, a hockey player with whom I work used to tell himself, "Don't screw this up, don't swing too hard, and don't hit the ice before the puck."  This type of thinking is not helpful, because by directing the mind to what is not supposed to be done, it increases the likelihood that the athlete will feel stress and anxiety.  This state, in turn, makes it harder to pay attention to the task at hand, and thus people are more prone to do exactly what they were hoping to prevent.

- Jason Selk, 10-Minute Toughness

Looking to a sport psychology book for business skill advice is perhaps not the most obvious choice, but we all know that sports performance is not about just the physical, but also about getting your “mind right” to get the most out of your body.  From those mental performance tips, we can gain a lot of ideas about how to enhance performance on our own playing field - in the office, the hotel, the restaurant, or wherever our work home is.

Additionally, this tip is not only useful at work, but throughout our lives.  If you've ever taken care of a young child, you know how often you find yourself saying "don't" to them.  And you also are very well familiar with how quickly after saying, "don't jump on the couch," the child that had never jumped on the couch before will suddenly be hopping around gleefully leaving dirty footprints and mussing the pillows.  What works for your brain in the office also works for this hyperactive, hopping toddler - use "do" language, and you'll have a better chance of success.  "Please keep your tootsies on the floor" works a lot better than, "don't stand on the chair."  At work, "Be sure to use the client's name twice after you hear it," is easier to accomplish than, "Don't forget the client's name."  

So now let's practice by thinking back - what are some "don't" messages you've said to yourself and others in the last week?  How can you re-frame them to be more positive "do" messages?