One of the most self-destructive ways to listen in business and personal situations is listening with what I call the "yeah, buts."  This condition occurs when there is a kernel (or more) of truth in something negative that is being said but you don't want to hear it.  You are defensive about what the speaker is saying, so the first response out of your mouth is "yeah, but."  

Whether you're listening to a customer, boss, or spouse, you've got to put the automatic "yeah, but" response on hold.  These responses keep you from hearing the other person.  You block out any chance you have of learning something from this person.

-Michael C. Donaldson, Negotiating for Dummies

All you need to do is think back to your teenage years (or your children's), and you can easily think of an example of this "yeah, but" response.  What Mr. Donaldson is pointing out is all about active listening and avoiding the knee-jerk defensiveness that can happen to all of us.  If we start to hear a negative comment and immediate think, “yeah, but,” we have already stopped truly listening.

So how do we overcome this?  There is no one answer that works for everyone, but the best first step is being aware when you are falling into the “yeah, but” trap.  If the person is still speaking, turn off your "yeah, but" brain by giving yourself a task: try summarizing the person's key points in your head as you listen.  Then, once they are finished talking, keep the "yeah, but" brain turned off by asking follow-up questions to understand why the person is saying what they're saying.  Doing these things helps you break through your defensiveness and stay involved in the conversation.